I haven’t had much motivation to write over the past two months. My mind is typically brimming with random ideas, but things have been quite stagnant lately. Aside from a few uninspiring freelance projects, the only other “writing” I seem to do is on Twitter. Sad, but true.
Yesterday, I tweeted about wanting to hate someone, but not really being able to hate them. This got me thinking. What is it about certain people that motivates us to take off our masks and show our authentic selves? What is it about them that draws us in and let’s us marvel at the contents of their soul? Are they aware of the connection or is it always entirely one sided?
This also got me thinking about the term, “soul mate”. Are we limited to one, or is life just a series of meeting various soul-connections we agreed to interact with at a certain point in our development? Or is connecting with these “kindred spirit” type souls really just a message from the Universe telling us, “good job, you’re on the right path”?
In no way am I intending to romanticize the notion of a soul mate either. We don’t necessarily choose these connections and they’re not with particularly remarkable people, per se. Yet, at a certain point we start to simultaneously see ourselves in other people and them for who they are more often.
I think that when we receive these Universal “nudges” and signs, it’s just confirmation that we’re in tune with our authentic selves.
As a whole, we come to understand ourselves best through our relationships with others, so maybe this phenomenon is just a sign of heightened self awareness?
Speaking of cognizance, I have recently become quite aware of someone’s hyper-compensatory behavior. They were hypercompensating for many aspects that caused them to fear judgement from others. Their negative reactions to me were negative reactions to hidden aspects of themselves. Don’t get me wrong, I admit to being an emotionally domineering, stubborn, and slightly manipulative piece of work at times, but there’s something to be said about both:
1. Connecting to and understanding someone’s pain for what it is
2. Taking accountability when necessary.
I genuinely saw, felt, and empathized with his pain. I suppose that is why I can’t seem to really, “hate”, or be mad at him when the logical, human thing would be to do so. There was nothing attractive about this individuals self righteous indignation, but I could relate to that type of anger. I learned, through him, a lot about my own rage, righteousness, and need for control.
At a certain point, I felt that this person turned a blind eye to seeing their reflection in me. Primarily, because it reminded them of their own rebelliousness and sensitivity – aspects that their adult-self decided to disown. It also reminded them of recent pain that they did not want to associate with this particular facet of their life. Certain areas of life are deemed “safe spaces” and I suppose I infringed on their right to that.
The more openly I bared my soul, the more they shyed away. Was it an amazing feeling to not have my feelings reciprocated? Obviously, no, but in the end it really was a beneficial learning experience. It all only reiterated, to me at least, how much I have evolved: by truly caring for another person and CHOOSING to take the high road instead of retaliating. In the past I’ve been known to be spiteful, petulant, vindictive, and petty when I didn’t get my way.
Regardless, the examination of myself in him has, overall, been a powerful lesson for me.
1. That complete mastery of self really is still something I strive to achieve and that it IS attainable in this lifetime.
2. I don’t always have to put my Self on display in order to really be seen.
3. You can’t force someone to be in tune with their own heart and Self until they’re ready to heal or even connect with you at all.
4. To stop forcing myself on to others emotionally, even when my intentions are good.
5. That fighting fire with fire isn’t always the best approach
6. Quite a bit about “control” and the sanctity of boundaries. Not everyone is ready, or able, to receive you and that’s okay. The ones that are, are the ones we should choose to gravitate towards.
Through seeing myself in another, I realized that I wasn’t QUITE ready for the twin-flame soulmate type relationship, but boy am I close. In other words, I still have a lot of self-work to do. I really learned a powerful lesson on being blinded by emotion, but I know I can voluntarily choose when to breathe life into them. Sometimes we’re doing a disservice to ourselves by only seeing the good in people.
Seeing myself in another is always an awe inspiring gift and I’m thankful for my recent experience.